Seorang pemuda membawa teman wanitanya ke sebuah restoran Itali yang sangat terkenal. Dia sendiri pun belum pernah masuk sebelum ini.. tapi demi mengambil hati teman wanitanya.. dia memberanikan diri untuk makan di restoran itu…
Setelah mereka duduk dan memakan anggur yang disajikan.. si lelaki mengambil menu… Kerana bingung melihat nama-nama aneh masakan Itali.. dia memilih sembarangan…
“Waiter.. bawakan kami makanan Giuseppe Spomdalucci untuk 2 orang” kata lelaki tadi..
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
‘My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610′
=================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him. ================= Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game. ================= Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I’ll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I’ll also stay with your sister. =================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a ‘GOD’
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again. =================
Ah Beng complained to the police: ‘Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.’
Police: ‘How the thief did not take TV?’
Ah Beng : ‘I was watching TV news…’ ================= Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying ‘Parking Fine’
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole ‘Thanks for complement.’ ================= How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board. =================
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot. =================
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says ‘Hello, how did you know I was here?’ ================= Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running? =================
Teacher: ‘I killed a person’ convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is ‘u will go to jail’ =================
Ah Beng told his servant: ‘Go and water the plants!’
Servant: ‘It’s already raining.’
Ah Beng : ‘So what? Take an umbrella and go.’ ================= A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not
in the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM
There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:
FIRST: Emergency
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.
SECOND: Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone.
Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to
drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other “remote” for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor’s Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a mobile phone!”
THIRD: Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your mobile battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your mobile will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.
FOURTH: How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone’s serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won’t get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can’t use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
A blog or a web log is a specialized site that allows an individual or group of individuals to share a running log of events and personal insights with online audiences. This journal is often updated daily and contains all information that the person maintaining the blog (the blogger) wishes to share with the world. Like an online dairy. This can be about and be used for anything at all, it can be used for news, reviews, products etc for a business, organisation etc. This is great as it helps the user stay in touch with the website with new and up to date information.
Like all country in the world, Malaysia also hit by the popularity of blogging. To fellow Malaysian, if you dream to become popular blogger like Jeff Ooi or Kenny Sia there are few rules you need to follow. These rules only apply for Malaysian blogger who want to penetrate Malaysian internet market.
1. Critics Malaysia Government
This is the 1st rule to become famous blogger in Malaysia. You must condemn our leaders. There are plenty of topic and issues you can touch. There are NO famous Malaysian blogger that support Barisan Nasional leadership.
2. Ads
Although your blog doesn’t gain enough visitors to make a single cent, but you must at least has one ads somewhere. This Ads simply to serve as gesture to your visitor that you a pro-blogger wannabe. But, do not overdo it and annoy your visitor with tremendous amount of ads. Place your ads at normally ads placement area, visit famous blog to get some idea.
3. Re-post.
Since Malaysia a small country with relatively small number of internet user, so the issue that attract Malaysia web surfer not as many as in USA or India. So, visit famous blog every single day, find the topic that you know best and re-post it at your blog. Through your view and comment related to that issue without mentioning you source of idea (famous blog).
4. Malaysian Artist.
Most internet users in Malaysia love their local artist. Either they love or do not care at all. So, DO NOT ever takes a risk by slam any local artist. You can make fun of it, write news, comment or anything, but do no take a chance by condemning Malaysia artist. Remember, our market not that big.
5. Friendly.
Always try to satisfy all your readers. No, it is not impossible. Just listen to them and try to follow their advice as many as possible. Malaysian love to become leader, dictator or at least a ruler of their ‘internet surfing kingdom’. Kenny Sia 100% agrees on this.
6. Lie.
Most Malaysian blog visitors are not I.T savvy. There has no idea how to check visitor details. So, install any kind of page monitor system like StatsCounter and display the counter on your blog. Then, revisit your own blog thousands of time per day. Most I.T blind visitor will amaze with the number. You can also comment your own post to show how famous you are and how loyal your visitor to you.
7. Community.
Join all kind of Malaysia community base site, actively involve in all Malaysia base forums and attend as many Malaysian blogger gathering as possible.
Happy blogging and all the best…!
The author is a Malaysian blogger for his Malay language + English blog: http://akubetul.com
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